Thinking About Couples Therapy? Read This First

Written By Katherine Holshausen

Relationships are one of the most important parts of our lives, and one of the most complex. Even the strongest couples go through periods of disconnection, misunderstanding, or conflict. Life stressors, busy schedules, parenting demands, work pressures, and unresolved hurts can make it hard to stay emotionally connected.

The truth is, struggling in your relationship doesn’t mean you’re failing as a couple — it means you’re human. And just as you’d see a doctor for physical health, couples therapy is a way to care for the health of your relationship.

Why Couples Seek Therapy

Couples therapy isn’t just for relationships on the brink. Many couples seek support for:

  • Frequent arguments or communication breakdowns that never seem to resolve

  • Feeling emotionally distant despite still caring for one another

  • Rebuilding trust after a breach, such as infidelity or dishonesty

  • Navigating major life changes — new jobs, relocation, parenthood, retirement

  • Preventative care, to strengthen the bond before problems escalate

Sometimes couples come to therapy feeling hopeless. Other times, they simply want tools to deepen intimacy, improve communication, and feel more connected.

The EFT Approach — Rebuilding Connection from the Inside Out

One of the most effective and well-researched methods for couples therapy is Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT). As a therapist trained in EFT, Dr. Holshausen can guide couples through a process that focuses less on “fixing” surface-level arguments and more on understanding the deeper emotions that drive them.

In EFT, we explore:

  • Underlying emotional needs — what’s really at stake when you feel hurt or distant

  • Negative patterns that keep you feeling stuck or misunderstood

  • Moments of reconnection — learning how to reach for each other in ways that build trust and safety

Rather than simply learning communication tricks or problem-solving skills, EFT helps you and your partner experience each other differently. The goal is to shift from a cycle of conflict or withdrawal into one of closeness, responsiveness, and mutual support.

What to Expect in Couples Therapy

  • A safe space for both voices to be heard — therapy isn’t about blaming or choosing sides, it’s about understanding

  • Guided conversations that help you get to the heart of the issue, rather than looping through the same arguments

  • Tools to repair and reconnect — so that you can leave sessions with practical steps for change

  • Deeper emotional safety — the kind that makes intimacy, trust, and joy possible again

Couples therapy is active work — you’ll both be involved, and you’ll both have moments of vulnerability. But for many couples, the process not only repairs damage, it creates a bond deeper than they’ve experienced before.

You Don’t Have to Wait Until It’s “That Bad”

Too many couples see therapy as a last resort. The earlier you address disconnection, the easier it is to repair and strengthen your relationship. Think of it as relationship maintenance — a way to ensure your partnership stays healthy and fulfilling.

If you and your partner are feeling distant, stuck, or unsure how to move forward, couples therapy can help you find your way back to each other.
Whether you’re looking to address a long-standing pattern or simply want to reconnect more deeply, working with a therapist trained in Emotion Focused Therapy can be a turning point.

Katherine Holshausen